Faithfulness, When I am Faithless

People frequently wonder right out loud what a nice young lady like myself is doing in a field like aviation maintenance. Their responses vary wildly, from the enthusiastically encouraging to the mildly insulting, when I tell them it’s so I can be a missionary pilot. The most amusing one I have heard to date came from a gentleman at work: “A missionary pilot? What does that mean, are you gonna preach to the passengers over the intercom or something?”

It’s an entertaining idea, sure, but one that would likely cut an airline career pretty short. Good thing an airline career is not even a remotely tempting prospect for me.

Other possibilities, though, have presented themselves more alluringly. It’s been interesting, over the course of the last few months in particular, to be faced with such a plethora of opportunities. It’s funny, the things that so clearly portray the ever present battle between our flesh and our spirit. Things you never even thought would be an issue suddenly appear before you and begin to tug at your heart like crazy. Career paths. Job opportunities. Relationships. Hobbies, even.

I worry, sometimes, about these things pulling me off the path I’m on without me realizing it. I worry even more (though even more rarely) about these things pulling me off the path I’m on with my full knowledge and cooperation. But I am not so naive to think it could never happen. And that thought that it could…well, to be honest, it terrifies me a little. I’ve been telling people I’m going to do this for almost three years now. I have poured literal blood, sweat, and tears into the pursuit of it. I’ve counted the cost and I’ve said “yes,” time and time again. And yet, I can still see myself walking away from it. It would almost be too easy.

So. What do I do? I remember Isaiah 30:21: “Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, ‘This is the way; walk in it.'” And that, as Paul told Timothy, though I may be faithless, God will always be faithful, for He cannot deny Himself. And I remember the book of Hebrews, the stories of those who lived and died by faith in the promise of God, who looked forward “to the city with foundations, whose architect and builder is God,” who longed for “a better country—a heavenly one,” and for whom God is not ashamed to be called their God. I remember the cry of King David: “Lord, the LORD Almighty, may those who hope in you not be disgraced because of me; God of Israel, may those who seek you not be put to shame because of me.” The Word is good to remind me of so much, not least of which is that beautiful amalgamation of my weakness and His strength.

Pray for me, friends. I want to hear His voice, and walk in the ways it tells me to go.

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